9 posts tagged “life”
happy july fourth my fellow americans! i'm still in canada, but nothing to do here today cause i'm not over 19 and my cousin can't take me out cause he has work tmr so i decided to just blog. i'm coming back tomorrow night! ): so sad. i liked being away from everything but i miss everything so much. i feel like i'm being drifted away or forgotten by people, but what am i to do lol i can't do anything!! U-S-E-L-E-S-S, i am. i got my rag today -_- i went to wonderland, pretty dope. i saw this REALLY cute white guy today like omfg. he was, yes of course, Canadian. lol he had this bomb ass body, not like all muscular and six pack stuff but good enough and his eyes were to die for. i realized i have a thing for guys who wear...puma, converse, or idk man but especially those 2 shoes LOL idk WHY! i think they look so sexy and simple to me hahaha. nike's are ok, so common though and like hard to match. or like some nice skater shoes or something idk o__O i judge a man by his shoes. LOL oh and then the eyes and the SMILEE, i want his smile to make me melt in my heart. oh that white guy had GORGEOUS eyess! it was like a really light hazel greenish eyeballs. and his hair was brown with blonde highlights which compliments his sexy eyes with his sexy body and his sexy family LOL idk but he's a cutieee =) so let's see. idk. so i'm interested in ki-how and a bit of johnny. but johnny just has a nice car, i don't talk to him enough to actually have a real "feeling" for him ya`know, it's more like a "i think you're cute, especially you're car...but i don't know anything about you" type of thing. and ki-how! oh wow we've been talking A LOT in summer school =) i enjoy talking to him, it's like i don't have to be a front LOL or worry idk. but ehh, everything is fading, canada is making it fade. people and in jens vox it says "distance makes the heart grow fonder" which i think is true but idk lol i just wanted to bring that up HAHA. we shall see when i get back. dudee, i broke out, i've been eating so much boi bo hue, i think that's how you spell it. so good though mmmm. my boobs have been hurting and my fake nails need to come off, it is bugging me so effing much. i am amazed that i can even type -_- pew pew. i can't wait until december now, the whole family is going to come down again i think. but MAYBE the parents are going to hk and the 21+ year olds are going to vegas, no where for bobo to go except home to baby sit all the kids -____- but it is fun. family bonding i believe. i miss my friends, i always wonder do they miss me but i don't think they do, or maybe they SECRETLY do but they don't want me to know because they know i'll get cocky. HAHA. my family members have been asking me when am i going to get a boyfriend. isn't it bad enough they're trying to rush marriage on my sister, but now they're trying to get me a boyfriend LOL then kk asks me how long has it been since i had a boyfriend and i said almost 3 years. THREE LONG YEARS MANGGG! put and 'L' on my forehead cause i'm fcken LONELY LOLOL!! i find it funny when people say something about my ex's or the guys i used to like and then say "oh, sorry" or something cause it really doesn't hurt me LOL. but it's cute, you guys are considerate of my feelings. i don't mind not having one, it'd be nice to have one though. i like all the people i used to like, i mean i don't like them anymore but it was nice going through all that with them. oh no, my cousin Aaron is awake! i'm going to go play and tease him =) have a happy and safe july fourth everybody!! see you all tomorrow night! wow this is probably my longest and non emo and honest post or whatever you wanna call it. hehe k byEee!
i just finished watching the new JB video "burnin' up" and i forgot to mention that i lined up to see them at their concert in Canada lol. i saw them from afar and it was pretty dope! yeah, i'd still go to one of their concerts when they're down in LA! whoooooo! k byee.
currently listening to: jay chou - twilight's chapter 7
tomorrow night every heartbeat on the stadium will beat as one knowing that once their name is called, it is finally over. the harsh 4 years you seniors had to go through to stand where you are today, knowing that through everything, you finally made it. tears will be shed and laughter will be heard; the memories of yesterday will appear and leave you breathless with nothing to say except "it's over, it's finally over." i'm going to miss all you seniors so fucking much. especially a few of you seniors like monkiee, buddy, and klam. you guys/other seniors made a HUGE impact on my life. not only did you guys become someone i can say "hi" to because you guys were older than me, but you guys also became my friends. maybe the definition of friendship is someone who has and will always be there for you. it isn't necessary to be so close where you hang out every single day and talk about EVERYTHING to but it's the second closest thing you've got next to family. we might not talk or hang out as much because we won't see each other daily but some where on a random day, either one of us will call each other up and say "hey, let's go catch up and chill" or some bs. no more picking on me or making fun of my head, we can go party together still though, haha. "friends come and go" but memories are forever. next year i will know exactly how you all feel, standing together as the class of 2009 knowing that I ACTUALLY PASSED HIGH SCHOOL!! lol jk, of course i am! i'm really REALLY sad you guys have to depart from us, but come on now, we all knew it had to come one day or the other. you all are getting old lol. mMmm when you guys go to college, remember it's not high school anymore, so welcome to your future. i'll miss you all<3
fck i got sad as i wrote this, i really am going to miss all you seniors though.
i wish you guys the best of luck in the future! don't forget me and i won't forget you! haha
define perfection? someone who has flawless skin, who is smart, caring, patient, gorgeous hair, no acne? what is it? people have been telling me to stop doing this and do more of that. i understand i have some flaws, as all you people do but is it really necessary for me to completely morph and change out of those habits? if we were all great listeners or whatever then this world would be so boring. i understand there are a few things people need to change about themselves but it IS their choice if they want to change or not. for instance, i can tell my sister to be less naggy but as long as i don't think she is naggy then there is no problem. maybe YOU should change how you view me and we'll be cool then. ever though of THAT!!! hubert! salad fingers! i love rusty spoons! another weekend gone, i didn't do anything this weekend either except for working on my projects and filming. i'm really hoping toga isn't canceled this Friday ): i am REALLY looking forward to it. we're not going toga shopping/making until this Wednesday. so long from now x_x i'm sick. so sad ): i have a bruise on my right elbow because i was swinging my camera and it got mad and hit me, haha. how is everything you ask? everything is FINE. just fine. i am not one to complain, what am i kidding, i ALWAYS complain. i'm never satisfied for some reason, as i have said in my December 2006 blog. scary how i remember huh. things seem to be going good. i've learned a lot from a few quotes. i always thought i needed Gary in my life. i was talking to him online a few nights ago and he brought up something and i told him, "i used to rely on you but i learned i don't need you anymore." which is partially true but it is nice to know he has his hand out there whenever i'm drowning. It used to be me trying to please everybody, but i realized i don't need everybody. I got that from a quote hehe. my mandarin play is this upcoming Monday! $%@#^&)^% DRAMA for my momma ): i should go to bed soon. So i see all the seniors are getting ready to graduate and get on with their lives. life is ending. everything is happening so fast. i still remember being in kindergarten sitting on the floor wondering when will i go to high school and such. everyone has someone. jenn has myco, sheree has donald, winnie has michael and although you may get into arguments or whatever, you know you'll still have them. i know they'll still be there for me but c'mon, there are different needs from a friend that's a girl than a boyf. you can't fulfill my sexual needs unless you have a penis in your pants and take off your mask and you're really jay chou in disguise. LOL jk bout that but yeah you know what i mean. maybe nothing is zooming by fast, maybe this is all a dream and when i die i will wake up and get to re-live every single moment of this and be able to change a few things and make it better. maybe my life is just beginning; yes, it is just beginning.
LOL i just realized my ending is similar to winnies
THUG LIFE! :D
okay so i'm still on the phone with gare and he told me sang got annoyed when i texted him on aim saying something small. now i am angry LOL. i am a short tempered little bitch. get the fuck over it. i don't know, i don't want to hang out with them anymore. honest. they are fun to hang out with sometimes but it's so annoying at times. i don't know, i want to do more simple things. i like going to Cha or whatever and just sitting outside drinking my boba till night or something. i want to do the simple things again. i am tired of them. i am tired of everything. i hope they have toga coming up, that's the only thing i'm actually looking foward too )= and toga shopping and boiling crab LOL blah. i am too angry to type more. i'll complain more in a few ours!
tonight was a pretty interesting night. I didn't go to Lucy's thing or whatever but i'm pretty sure she had a happy birthday! (: so jen&bao came to my house afterschool to do some shit. then lalala and jen had to go to church and bao had to do his shit so yeah. then later on my sisters boyf brought the wii home and bao came over to help me set it up cause according to him "i seemed unhappy so he came to keep me company." then later on i went down to michaels house to pick up super mario brawl and when i was walking i saw bao going into his car and i was like dude thats fcked up, make me walk to michaels house to pick up brawl and you leave. then when i was walking back i saw my house was pitch black and my door was open and i was like fuck shit something is gna happen, why did he bring my sister along? then i walk in my room and back out into the living room and my sister pops out and i scream and bao comes out laughing. -______- i must say, touche. that was a great prank on me LOL! then later on he went to go pick up justin and his sister to come play wii and they left around 11. it was nice. like idk i thought it was more fun doing what i did instead of going drinking or whatever they're doing at lucy's. then we were just talking about friends and idk. it gave me a sense of comfort that like even though i don't talk to justin or bao a lot, that if i were bored or needed anything then they'd be there to be with me. i know for sure jen, winnie, and sheree would do the exact same for me but like someone i'm not even that close with will do that for me makes me feel better about the whole "friendship" they're a complete different crowd to hang out with too lol. they listen to alternatives in their car and idk. they're a lot more chill than i'd expect. hanging out with gary and them is fun but it is a load of drama. what is the meaning of freindship? gare and them didn't even call me or whatever to see if i was going or whatever. is that friendship? they could of chose not to go or stop by my house to say hello but did they? nope. no one called me, i had to call them. is that the meaning of friendship? am i just over analyzing everything? it's two different crowds let's just say. i swear, hanging out with guys is so complicated -_- i'm getting hungry. i don't know. i think it's time for a change in who i hang out with. i am not talking about the girls, i love how each of us are so different and how easy it is to hang out with each other; but i'm talking about guys. sighh i don't know. maybe i'm just over thinking. who knows. all i know is that i DO have friends who care and that is the best feeling of comfort i can have, for now. goodnight<3
what a day. i am in emotional state again. i love "filming" during 4th period with jenn & alex. it's such a relief and stress free zone for me. it's like we're 3 complete strangers who are trying to get to know one of another. it's like a fresh start. just sitting there talking about what we plan on doing and forgetting about life. that is what makes me feel free. i was talking to eric last night and it seems as if his friendship is pretty down hill too. i don't know. i feel calm but lost of hope. it's like night time but no moon. i'm lost. i know i say all this stuff like "fck him, fck that bitch, and blah blah" but i admit, i miss Gare. but i hate it also. i hate saying "oh yeah, gare and i used to do that or one time me and gare ____" all i have are memories, and it's pointless since i can't make new ones. There are a few people who say "oh you still have me though" or whatever and i thank them for that but man shut up. lol. there is this one guy who says that and when i come to him for my problems, he has nothing good to say. he is useless >;O if only life had a restart key, i'd be in a new world right now. i want to start fresh, so i've decided i'm going to leave the past behind. the friends whom i thought i have are just people i know now and that is where they should stay. i shouldn't dwell on the past, but prepare myself for what is coming. life can't get worse than this.
