nights like these...
it's 3:03am. i've been on the phone with him for about 2 hours and 39 mins and counting as i type. i'm listening to leona lewis - i will be. i am in love with that song, i'm suppose to be doing my essay right now but i'm in such a calm position i don't want too and also because i have no sources and i don't know anything about my topic haha. friday night was totally worth it. although he is going to prom with lucy and changed his myspace around, i'm okay. i mean if i cry or mope nothing is going to change. sometimes i wonder what is going on in his little head. gare fell asleep on the phone awhile ago. but for some reason, i don't want to hang up. 2 months until things are pretty stable now. it's like, i'd rather be on the phone with him knowing he's asleep but it's the fact that he is there rather then to hang up on him and call wayne back lol. it's those feelings. nights like these make me think hard on what i really want. people have so much to offer but ah i don't know. we might not be talking on the phone cause he's snoozing but it gives me a sign of comfort. a really big comfort. comfort i haven't felt in the longest of times. so maybe he does like her but i guess it's punishment? not technically punishment but more like, i had my chance. he tells everyone i fcked him over so many times and i think back, i did. i didn't do it intentionally though. there is so much to think about. my nails are a cute neon bright pink. whooo. so i'm grounded and phoneless for 2 weeks and 2 weeks only. i'm getting hungry and sleepy. guess no essay for me tonight :[ . i have to mad cram tomorrow morning and stuff. if i could, i'd hug you and never let go until my arms get tired and numb and fall off. i love this feeling, i love leona lewis! her songs are so soothing. it puts me at peace. my friends ARE great. i know i hardly ever show any sign of emotion towards our friendship and i can be a stuck up hardheaded little bitch, but i care. i care too much, you just don't know. i have this forcefield of trust or something. life's mysteries. i should go to bed soon. i'm getting weary! goodnight loves.
